Beach baby, beach baby..

I'm still here!!!


First, sorry to all my bloggy sisters I've been neglecting- I can't wait to catch up.


April and May have been such a whirlwind between Graduations, Vacations, and retirements!
I have a million catchup posts to do, but for now I'm just enjoying time with my little beach babe.






























Sorry you'll see no pics of momma in her bikini!

Mother's Day

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her - Proverbs 31:28

I'd be lying if I said I didn't love Mother's Day. Being a mom is the best thing ever and I know every mother you know will tell you the same thing. I've always spent the day or at least the day before with my mom and I hope Carsyn will always spend the day with me. This year I spent Saturday with my mom and sister and Sunday with my MIL and SIL. 



We laughed, talked, ate too much, put together puzzles, and just soaked up spending time with each other.  What a wonderful weekend with my little girl!

Of course, I don't think I'd be half the mom I am without this guy.  Melt. My. Heart.

It doesn't hurt he surprised me with these!

I cannot believe this time next year I'll be a mom of two!

Fear of the Unknown

I remember being terrified while pregnant with Carsyn.  Quite frankly just afraid of everything from going into labor to how in the world was I going to take care of a little one.  This time around things are quite different.  I am concerned about adjusting as a mommy to 2.  How am I going to deal with sleep deprivation and breast feeding again?   But honestly my concern now is mostly for Carsyn.  How's she going to deal with being a big sister.  How on earth am I going to give her all the attention she deserves with a precious baby boy clinging to me??

Not so long ago I could not walk out of a room without a shrill "moommmmmy" cry. At the time it was painful. I had to leave knowing Carsyn was crying after me...wondering how long before she settled down. In her mind did she wonder if I was coming back? Lately when I leave I get more of a nonchalant "bye mommy." I'd be lying if I said it wasn't slightly disappointing, but its a bit of a relief as well.

I was telling the hubby last night I didn't get as many compliments on my mothering from him as I used to. True, my insecurities aren't as plentiful, but compliments are always nice to hear! He said Carsyn's love for me should be all I need. You know, he's right. She completely adores me in spite of the times I lose my patience with her.  If I'm sitting in the floor she'll come and plop herself down in my lap.  She'll hug me with both little arms now and I melt. 

When the new addition comes along am I going to be able to divide by love equally? Is she going to be jealous of him and hurt by me?   Is she going to have the love for mommy she has now?  My heart already breaks for her in some ways though I know having a sibling is the best thing in the world!

My number one goal in life is to be a good mother.  I lose sight of this from time to time, but luckily Carsyn keeps me in check.  I pray to God to give me guidance and wisdom.  Please let me adjust to mothering two little babes.  Please let them feel equally loved and blessed and more importantly love each other.

I cannot wait to be a family of four!  I hope I can live up to the task.

Weekend!

We got to spend Cinco de Mayo celebrating Shane's little cousin Andi's birthday. She was the flower girl in our wedding and I still see that sweet child she was today.

She is always smiling!!

Kind of like this little girl... 

Goodness gracious, I cannot believe how blessed I am. Poor kid partied until 10 that night and slept until 11 Sunday morning.  We missed church but had a lazy day in the pool with Barbie.

My OOTD for Cinco de Mayo..

 

How was your weekend? Did you celebrate the Derby or Cinco de Mayo?

This week

What an exhausting week!! We started out in Nashville with a lunch date with Carsyn's future hubby...








Engaged in a little retail therapy..




(no little girlfriend did not get the Louis.. But it did match her outfit so perfectly!)




Midweek Carsyn had a little Auntie fun day while momma got some highlights..




And we ended with a retirement dinner for my cute aunt..




(she's in the blue dress... That apparently everyone in my family owns.. Again. Must remember to consult before shopping jcrew!)

Hopefully this week will be a little less busy!

Letting Good be the Enemy of Great

The hubby tells me I'm the champion of letting good be the enemy of great. Does that make sense to y'all? Have you heard that expression before?

You see, I'm kind of like Clark Griswold. Remember in Christmas Vacation when he and Ellen are lying in bed and she tells him he has great big ideas and things don't quite play out like that? That's me. Its not that I'm a perfectionist, I'm far from it...I just want things to be the best they can be. When Clark plans that perfect vacation to Wally World and it falls to pieces? So familiar. I build things up in my mind and get hurt when they don't turn out the way I want.

If I plan a party I'm never happy with the results...we needed more desserts, I wish more people would have shown up..A good party is not enough..I want a GREAT party.

This year I really wanted a family vacation with just us 3 before baby boy arrives and its just not happening. The hubby is working too much and I refuse to travel in June. Yes, I'm pouting. We'll probably take a small trip and that will be fine. Carsyn will love the mommy and daddy time and attention.

 I feel like we are outgrowing our current house. I have looked at every home for sale in a 30 mile radius and none of them suit me. The kitchen needs updating, the kids would have to share a bathroom, I need a mudroom, Carsyn needs a playroom, etc.

I HATE being so picky. I swear it will be the death of me. I do not want Carsyn to grow up with pressure to be "perfect" and I hope she knows she's one of the few things I did right. She could be no better. Our kids are perfect the way they are, right?  I see no room for improvement. Her tantrums, her days without naps, without dinner? They're challenging, but you know they just don't get to me. Perhaps its because I know I have no control over things like that. I just wish I could let other aspects go too.

How about you? Is your "good" the enemy of your "great?"