Saturday, May 25, 2013

D for Discipline

We just got back into town after a quick little shopping trip to Cincinnati. I'm really blessed with great traveling kiddos as they really didn't mind the 3+ hour trip at all.  They both watch Mickey or whatever on their ipads and usually I pack a snack for Carsyn.  We stopped for lunch each day to let the kids stretch and roam.  I'm a firm believer that no child is perfect, (even though we all know every child is perfect in their mother's eyes ;).  While some kids are great travellers others loathe the car seat.  While some kids are great sleepers others are horrible. My nephew could sleep through Armageddon and my daughter wakes with a slamming door. I think my kids don't mind the car seat because they've always traveled 45 minutes to work with me so they got used to it from the get go. 

Carsyn has always been a great little shopper too.  She was content to sit in her stroller and seldom get out until she was almost 2!  Since then she's really not liked to stroll much at all.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not chucking the donkey anytime soon, its just she prefers to walk 60% of the time.  I guess that's "normal".   I don't want anyone to read this and think sarcastically "oh, poor Jen, Carsyn's interfering with her shopping!" Umm....if that's not the epitome of shallow I don't know what is.  She's actually really good at not touching things and just walks around squealing "oh, look at the pretty dresses!"  But, sometimes walking at a snail's pace is a little frustrating and I'm all "get in your stroller already!!"

Before we went in the mall Carsyn requested her picture be taken in front of the pretty flowers. I'm thinking its going to be a great day..And I guess it was. So, we're shopping and Hank is content in the stroller and Carsyn is roaming around the Lilly store when she sees the beach ball display in the front window.  I'm paying for my items and she keeps bringing me beach balls from the front.  The ladies behind the counter are nice but I'm asking her to put them back and don't touch and its not working.  The ladies in the store are now starting to tell me some are tied together and that could be dangerous so I'm thinking I"m going to have to break her heart.  I march to the front and she's amidst 10 balls having the time of her life.  After coaxing, begging, and bribing I have to drag her out by her little arm and she does the floor flop. Please tell me you know what the floor flop is?  I sit in the floor with her and tell her the balls are decorations and we don't touch and mommy needs her to be a good girl and ride in her stroller sometimes and mommy takes her on trips so she can have fun and mommy needs to look at things sometimes and then she'll give Carsyn time to look at things she likes....etc. until she gets it.  She sniffles and wipes her tears when I show her a new dress.  She asks take a picture for daddy and I say how about in front of the beach balls and all is well with the world again.

I talked with Rosie a lot about discipline on this trip and we both agreed.  Sometimes your kid is going to have to cry.  You can't worry about what other people are thinking.  You have to be the adult.  Is it fair to strap a 2 year old in a stroller and expect them to sit there contently for 4 hours? No.  Is it fair to insist they ride in their stroller for an hour and then be rewarded with a small gift from or trip to the Disney store for doing so? I think so.

I've smacked Carsyn's tail a few times and just felt horrible for it.  And it was in response to her hitting me-totally justified.  It actually worked and she hasn't offered to hit again.  When I ask her not to do something sometimes her immediate response is no and she reaches her little hand to hit and I say "we don't hit people in this house..remember mommy said she'd never whip your tail as long as you don't hit."  And she remembers.  Does that mean whipping her was necessary?  Not sure. 

Time out does not work at all.  Girl is tormented by being left alone.  Let's chalk it up to my fear of abandonment.  As of right now my discipline system is completely reward based.

These came recently and I'm so excited to see if they work.  We're going to start with little things like pick up toys and get out of the tub when mommy asks.   For rewards I'm thinking movie nights and ice cream dates.

So, what works for you?  Dish.


  1. The floor flop! I'm dying because I know exactly what the floor flop is. When your tiny human's body goes limo because they don't want to be moved. Honestly, I do all the things I said I never would when I need my kid to stop doing what they are doing in public. You know... Bribing with candy, cookies or knock knack toys! Anything!

  2. FLOOR FLOP! Oh my gosh. HATE THAT! Grayson does this to me any time I tell him to come inside. Every. Single. Time.

  3. The floor flop is the perfect way to describe it! Time outs and taking things away don't really work with my little lady either. We have had the best luck making sticker charts to reward good behavior and we will usually let her pick out a small toy if she earns enough stickers on her chart. We pretty much just rely on bribes :/